New Book Offers Hope to Grieving Widowers

New Book Offers Hope to Grieving Widowers
In her new book, ‘Lucky Twice’ (Bookstand Publishing), author Debra Weissman Seaman and her husband, Allen, tell the story of losing their spouses and finding love again – how they got lucky twice.

Author Debra Weissman Seaman always told Paul, her husband of thirty-five years, “If I die and you meet someone new, get married. Don’t be alone.” Three days before his death, when he was in hospice for cancer, he gave her a gift: permission to remarry. “Don’t be alone. Promise me, please,” he begged her. In her new book, Lucky Twice (Bookstand Publishing), Weissman Seaman and her current husband, Allen, tell the story of losing their spouses and finding love again.

Lucky Twice begins with Debra’s story. In a few short years, she lost her first husband, Paul, and both of her parents. At one point, both her husband and her mother are dying of cancer and she is the primary caregiver for both, leaving her flying between Rhode Island and Florida. Just 14 months after losing her mother, Paul, too succumbs to cancer, leaving her heartbroken and lonely. 

Next, the book tells Allen’s story. In 2002, his wife, Janice, retires at 45, only to be hit with breast cancer. A total of twenty-three lymph nodes were removed from Janice’s breast, and all twenty-three had cancer. With aggressive chemo, they gave her two years to live. She lived nine years longer than expected, but eventually, sepsis shut down her kidneys and took her life. Allen shares how lonely it was for him after Janice died, “You go out with your friends during the day for lunch or shopping, and it’s all a good time, but when you arrive home at nine or ten in the evening, there’s nobody there. All you can do is sit and stare at the walls thinking about what you used to have and how you don’t have it anymore. It’s so lonely.”

After signing up for the dating website Our Time, aimed at people who are 50 and older, Debra has a few conversations, but doesn’t meet anyone. She finally strikes up a conversation with Allen. She initially likes that he, too, is a widower, who had been in a loving, long-term marriage, who knows what it takes to be in a committed relationship, and who knows what it is like to lose a spouse. At 57, she finds herself going on her first date since she was 18. What happens next is Debra and Allen’s story of their life together. The book’s title comes from the fact that she and Allen both got lucky for a second time in their lives and found someone to share their lives with. Lucky Twice is a must-read for anyone who is grieving and needs the encouragement to know that they can get lucky for a second time and be happy again. 

Sharon Gutterman, Ph.D. says of Lucky Twice, “From the first page of Lucky Twice, I was captivated by Debbie and Allen’s stories. Their love story, told with wit and charm, touched me deeply. Debbie and Allen share intimate details of what it’s like to experience a first true love, to be supportive through ill health, ultimately to lose these life partners, and then be open to seeking love a second time. They describe their paths from childhood to marriage without glossing over the tough times. Their openness and honesty are inspiring. This book is a must-read for everyone, especially for those of us who need a boost in the courage to be lucky twice.”

Debra Weissman Seaman

Debra Weissman Seaman was born and raised in Rhode Island. She lived in New Jersey and Connecticut with her husband, Paul, before they moved south to Florida. After he passed away, she met and married Allen, and they live in Florida. Her book, Lucky Twice, is their story of losing their spouses and finding love again.

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