How To Make A Guy Want You – When a couple vows, “we do”, they intend to stay together over the long haul. Yet, grey divorces are exploding worldwide. The common cause – couples grow apart. What’s it all about… this growing apart business?
Here’s a living example. When Al Gore, former VP and wife of over 40 years, Tipper, split up, they alluded to “growing apart” as the reason. To get a deeper understanding of this phenomenon watch this following video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5VmyJrEcxk
Researchers had a field day and dubbed this growing phenomenon “grey divorce”, which refers to “grey-haired” couples getting divorced after being in long term marriages.
A University of Michigan psychologist, Terri Orbuch cited growing apart a widespread reason for “midlife divorces”. According to Orbuch, “Relationship ruts and boredom are common” and one should visit the following Facebook fanpage to get more information:
Couples concur “IT” just happens.
Seriously? That’s like saying dirt just happens. Dirt accumulates when we don’t tend to our housekeeping.
In a similar manner, boredom accumulates when we don’t tend to our relationships.
Couples get into a relationship rut due to lack of nurturing, separate interests and boring routines.
The RX for a boring marriage is to stimulate compatible interests. Interesting is a lot more fun and it could just save the marriage.
You must want to live an interesting life enough to do new and exciting things, even if they make you uncomfortable. At first, you may have to do these important things alone, because you can’t change the other person.
Open your mind to exciting experiences. Join something. Take a class. Do a hot air balloon ride. Do ice skating. Invite your person to go with you to ballroom dance lessons, book club or a class in French cooking. Maybe he won’t, just keep asking with a smile on your face.
Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/embed/X5VmyJrEcxk
Living Separate Lives Together
It’s the way of the world these days, couples are doing things separately. Paul Amato, sociology professor at Penn State led a team, which evaluated over 2,000 married people. The conclusion: “People may be bowling alone these days, but married couples are also eating alone.”
It’s easy to understand how married couples grow apart when they simply exist under the same roof, rarely seeing each other. The real deal is – every marriage needs “we” time in order to thrive.
What activities did you previously enjoy doing together? Carve out time and do them again.
Living with another person is stressful enough. But when life’s challenges start popping-up, we tend to hurt the one we love. Job loss, job transfers, buying a first home, financial issues, illness…all negatively impact marriage.
It’s human nature to blame our spouse, rather than the situation. It’s more comfortable to talk with friends about our issues, instead of spouses “who don’t understand”. Turning away can cause your partner to feel rejected.
Keeping silent about our problems is dangerous behavior where the health of our relationship is concerned. When communication goes, couples tend to grow apart.
Talking to each other helps alleviate stress. When friction arises, resist the impulse to lash-out at your partner. Instead talk it out.
Be alert for early-warning signs of inertia, stress and too much time apart. You must establish a reconnection if the only time you talk to each other is about kids or finances.
It won’t be pleasant, once the kids leave home and you are facing a grey divorce. The time to take positive action is now!